


My Thoughts Are Not My Own

by Inkeye



Series: 'Unseen' Universe [3]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Disturbing Themes, Gen, Insanity, Mind Manipulation, One-Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-06
Updated: 2016-04-06
Packaged: 2018-05-31 13:49:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6472486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inkeye/pseuds/Inkeye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hux has a mission.<br/>Post Chapter 17 of Unseen Corrosion. Title quoted from Children of Dune.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Thoughts Are Not My Own

 

Violent sounds, violent shaking. His hands won't stop. His mouth is open, and the noises he makes are unfamiliar.

_Inside. Squirming and dragging and clawing._

Hux stumbled, hands catching him and hauling him upright.

Rough hands-iron bands-bands on his arm and in his mind.

_How dare they touch me-how dare HE-_

They're not supposed to be there. They should be gone. He's going, isn't he? He's going.

He's gone.

_Inside-_

He shouldn't be. Hux is a general, Hux is a leader, Hux is strong-

_Weak. Weak._

_It isn't-I'm not!_

Faces surround him but Hux doesn't know them. He knows every face on this station- _he is the leader_ -but he doesn't know these.

_The bridge. I belong on the bridge._

Faces-

One face. Only one face. There should be-why are there so many?

_Just one, one crater of burned and blasted-_

The battle. The bridge. The attack-

_One face._

If there is more than one, Hux is-Hux isn't where he supposed to be. He isn't-

_I should be on the bridge, should be slaughtering those fools and-_

He should be-

Further. He needs to be rid of this, rid of the person that-

_I'm not-inside. Not me. Not my-_

They are crowded closely together, now. And violent sounds are receding.

_Hyperspace?_

\---

Time passed.

_How much longer?_

Faster. They needed to go faster, so he could finish and be done and be rid of this-

_Tacky and clinging. Everywhere. No refuge, my mind-I'll kill him for this, I'll kill-_

Who?

_Just one._

A corner, a rare clean space among those thorns that dug into his brain and forced _agonytormentCOMPULSION_ , that assured him this would end. This mire that drowned everything that he was would evaporate, and General Hux would return to the forefront of the First Order. Law and righteousness would rule the galaxy once more, after the vicious rabble was exterminated-

And that one. That one would die, too.

_But pain, first. Pain to rival this-_

_Who-_

Hands dumped him unceremoniously on the ground. Something heavy hit the ground beside him before the door behind hissed shut.

_Kill them, too-_

_But who-_

Pain. Too much pain. He couldn't walk if there was too much-

_Don't think about who. Don't focus on HIM, but-_

_How._

_Pain. Pain first. Pain to rival this._

_Then death. Slow but definite. So I never have to know this-_

Hux knew how he was supposed to look. Holding himself tall, nodding to those he passes. A weight is heavy on his shoulders.

If there was less pain, he could pretend-

_No. I won't. I won't pretend. I am the GENERAL. I am-_

_Crippled._

_I must strike him quickly. I won't get a second chance._

Hux walked around the room- _the target, the cause_ -placing devices on the wall as he walked.

_Pain and humiliation, if only for a moment. A moment must be enough. If I had more time-I could take his hands. His tongue. His eyes._

_Make him crawl._

He is finished. He is ready. He can hurt him, now.

_His fault, HIS FAULT-_

The remote held loosely in his fist, Hux strides up to the doors and opens them.

Steps through.

\---

"General Hux. What do you think you're doing here?"

The man looked pale and gaunt. He bared his teeth in a macabre grin.

Something was terribly wrong.

Hux pressed something in his hand, and-

It was gone. His connection, his _power_ -

Snoke snarled, lurching to his feet-

As Hux unholstered his blaster, putting him square in its sights-


End file.
